turning the clock one year back, we were in this idyllic corner of northern thailand, taking our time with everything, marvelling at how this guy could lie on the hammock all day whilst chatting up anyone who came along, like he's known them for years, including us and accordin to the inn's owner, he has been at it for days. spent the afternoon strolling around the charming little town, which only took a mere 2 hours? and spent the longer part of the afternoon in this quaint little french cafe, me bristling with boredom and them gushing over the cute little french song that was being played over the radio. and cleef kept urging me back into the rigid wooden seat, saying how i should imagine it's a plush sofa that's all perfect for snuggling while qiyue and jason laughed at my impatience. it was over dinner and a dissection on the pros and cons of placing calls back to our loved ones because the guys thought it was redundant, qiyue thought it was a responsibility and i missed him terribly that it seemed so deja vu when we saw the startling news on tv after realising everyone else's attention was diverted to it, and so even the guys decided we definitely had to call.
we were relieved that we hadnt gone south but it was particularly unsettling knowing that two backpackers whom we had got to know pretty well over trekking were headed south when we parted ways and could probably have gone to meet their maker.
life is so eerily fragile. someone can be talking and laughing with you one day but gone the next day.
im afraid to lose people. extremely afraid. the thought alone is wholly traumatising for me. i know i always go around saying we should never hold back our love for people, but be more expressive and forthright in our display of love, concern and appreciation of people around us. and for all my preachiness, i know i fall short of fulfilling these intangibles to ALL around me. and i shant make excuses for it either.
quite frankly, it's a struggle with everything; a love-hate relationship. but it's really more of love than hate.
im always incredibly finicky about things; disparaging about inadequacies and justifying my demands with reasons like why cant people see it as a quest to better previous standards. 9 out of 10 friends will attest to that. so in conclusion, im a terrible person who chooses to overlook and cast aside the simple things in life even though i know better that it's the simple things that are most heartwarming. like how water is an invaluable source of life, but i will rather have sauvignon blanc on a picnic. and that quaint little french cafe was really a charmer but i chose to think that it was a waste of precious time sitting there and talking when we could talk on the road or over proper mealtimes. so while im always lamenting about how life in singapore is so hectic that we cant even take a respite without feeling guilty about the time wasted, im undoubtedly just a pack of contradictions.
one year on, if i have to re-enact that scene again, i guess i will agree whole-heartedly with jason that life can also be very fulfilling lying on the hammock 365 days, that retreating into somewhere as remote and quiet as pai is actually a rewarding and enviable experience. it's about casting all the worries away and being able to pop your head into any shop or household and getting a friendly greeting in return, carefree people who have their dream cafes and dont bother if they can break-even for the month etc etc.
if only life is really this simple in reality huh.
to a humbling day in history-261204. it dramatically altered many people's lives but im sure a lot walked away from loss and destruction with an enlightened appreciation of life and a heightened awareness of interpersonal relationships.
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What the world needs now is love sweet love,
It's the only thing that there's just too little of.
What the world needs now is love sweet love,
no not just for some but for everyone.
Lord we don't need another mountain,
There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb,
There are oceans and rivers enough to cross
Enough to last until the end of time
What the world needs now is love sweet love,
it*s the only thing that theres just too little of,
what the world needs now is love sweet love,
no not just for some but for everyone
Lord, we dont need another meadow,
there are corn fields and wheat fields enough to grow,
there are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine,
oh listen Lord, if you want to know
What the world needs now is love sweet love,
its the only thing that theres just too little of.
what the world needs now is love sweet love,
no not just for some, oh but just for every every everyone.
-whattheworldneedsnowislove.carpenters-
It's not contradictory to desire simplicity yet choosing complexity/pragmatisim. I guess much depends on whether we want to dictate circumstances, or are willing to allow circumstances dictate us. It's a big decision to make to let go and allow ourselves to drift along with the tides, and allow external events to dictate our choices. Until we convince ourselves that that is acceptable, I feel its hard to lead the simple life.
