head versus heart when the head already has enough mayhem within to contend with.
a chronic blitzkrieg penetrating the conscious; an unrelenting stream of second, third, fourth... etcetera etc thoughts. chaos reigning in the sub-conscious; a vehement tug-of-war between the angel and the devil. emotions that run helter-skelter, because the heart wants to spin beautiful fairytales.
all these voices that clamour to be heard, so draining they take the life out of one's soul. pernicious disease perhaps.
i guess if we listened to our intellect we'd never have a love affair. we'll be so wary. "he's going to hurt me." Or,"I've had a couple of bad love affairs, so therefore im swearing off romantic liaisons forever". We'd never have a friendship because we arent generous with trust. We'd never go in business because we'd be cynical: "It's gonna go wrong."
Well, if life is about living passionately and loving whole-heartedly, and attaining harmonious equilibrium in insanity and seeking out singleness amongst delusions are but bonuses in life, i know i definitely dont want to miss any of it.
i wont take that first step and jump off the cliff because i'll be thinking im scared and i'll have a zillion thoughts racing through my panicked mind and there's also the aeroacrophobia but thinking is self-conscious and anything self-conscious stifles creativity so push me and i will build my own wings down. there was achluophobia but i learnt to revel in it. defiance. i relished in breaking your conventions of me. only you know if it served its purpose.