wine and roses

2007-02-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

the world a bounteous sprawl. throbbing with vibes, kindred souls and interesting people. compelling beauty within and beyond. anecdotes to share, to hear, to tell, to muse over. wonders to entrance the visual. spices to savour. feelings to live..lives to celebrate. to live with love and in love.

on space. open yet closed. psychedelic bustle in the physical.

forget myself.

that she had a special grace in the intimacy of life. She had the secret of individuality which excites and escapes.

privvy at livejournal now.

2007-02-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

Everywhere I go all the places that I've been
Every smile is a new horizon on a land I've never seen
There are people around the world - different faces different
names
But there's one true emotion that reminds me we're the
same...

Lets talk about love

From the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown man
There's a thread that runs right through us all and helps us
understand
As subtle as a breeze - that fans a flicker to a flame
From the very first sweet melody to the very last
refrain...

Lets talk about love
Lets talk about us
Lets talk about life
Lets talk about trust
Lets talk about love

It's the king of all who live and the queen of good hearts
It's the ace you may keep up your sleeve - 'til the name is all
but lost
As deep as any sea - with the rage of any storm
But as gentle as a falling leaf on any autumn morn...

Lets talk about love - it's all were needin'
Lets talk about us - it's the air we're breathin'
Lets talk about life - I wanna know you
Lets talk about trust - and I wanna show you

Lets talk about love

____________________

happy valentine's my dear friends!

and to you especially, thousands of miles away, snug in my heart and always in my thoughts.

2007-01-29T12:40:00.000+08:00

im sorry bf. im conceding that yes i find satisfaction from not being satisfied with anything, but i retain the prerogative for my tantrums. a girl has got to be a girl! and you'll still have your ego stroked.

2007-01-26T03:32:00.000+08:00

a ritual that we watch for that instant when time comes and melts all the tension away, usually. it has failed this time, maybe because the day no longer hinges on promises, but the debris that find themselves in a cache memory now.

but were not the same
forged only love and more antithesis
the fizz shows its strains
so that nothingness is left

2007-01-25T04:38:00.000+08:00

the broken child stirs, the impressions that are designed to prick. she holds tightly in her small fists remnants of faith, rivulets that wouldnt flow. she will make her haven.

2007-01-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

we'll go loving and dancing and prancing and singing in the rain, in the snow, in the icy icy cold and this is what's getting me all hyped up - The Annual Hogmanay Festival.

The Hogmanay Festival is essentially a new year celebration with a difference. This festival takes place on the 31st of December every year and is phenomenally well supported and raucous. It's a ticketed festival that starts quite early in the evening, reaching its peak as expected at midnight with the ringing of bells and plenty of kissing. Then old folk song 'Auld Lang Syne' is sung and followed by more kissing.

Depending on where you are in Scotland, activities for this festival may vary from folk song singing, dancing, torch light processions, the swinging of fireballs and a number of other activities are all combined with lots of laughing and fun for the whole evening and most of the morning.

woohoo baby! make that a wish on the same bright stars.

2007-01-18T23:42:00.000+08:00

maybe this fish spun a too convincing bluff about too many treacherous creatures circling beneath and beyond and getting snared in your weathered net was really the best. maybe this fish played foul on your vulnerabilities, would capsize both itself and you over, back where deep met blue.

where is the love when you were prepared to risk this tragedy of life?

2007-01-15T23:17:00.000+08:00

for the elemental forces that he wants to be associated with, i present him who really baffles me sometimes,

"i was evandar, king of the faeries. i was hettar, horse-lord of the algarian plains with an agenda of revenge. and skarn, lone hunter riding on his wolf, surviving through his grit. i am all of these characters in the land of my imagination. i was swift wind, some native american mixture i thought for myself as i sped through the lands of jurong east on my bicycle.

but i am your lover, nameless, mysterious."

also the youngest brother whom i like to think shall remain untainted and adorable,

"they say blood is thicker than water but i beg to differ. i think money is thicker than blood."

and the kid who needs no big gorgeous eyes to charm me,

"drink ribena then you can read more pokemon books to me."

this particular species really tickles my fancy.

2007-01-13T11:52:00.000+08:00

this fish swims in salt.

2007-01-10T13:18:00.000+08:00

i'm missing europe so much, and i miss you even more.

my baggage was seriously overweight, 32kg when i was only allowed 23kg. imagine our relief when i was granted another 6kg before i had to weigh the odds of paying for excess baggage or dumping the loot as he liked to call them. but i really have to give him credit for lugging most of that during the trip. times when i sorely missed my brothers. haha.

must say im immensely pleased with our inventory; an intoxicating constituent of wine, beer, spirits, whiskey, and other drinks. there's even brandy butter sitting in the refridgerator. plus so smelly but so delish cheese for me to reminisce and and delight in.

for the insatiable wanderlust, anticipation tickles.

2007-01-04T02:34:00.000+08:00

someday, i'll wish upon a star,
wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
where trouble melts like lemon drops,
high above the chimney top,
that's where you'll find me.

sometimes i just want to disappear. or a little bit of oblivion will do great as well.

2006-12-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

castilor peles - the most well-preserved castle in all of europe, also took my breath away with its magnificent architecture, first seen afar as the early rays of the morning sun struck its lofty spires and Greek statues and intricate, ornate walls glinting with compressed grandeur, each and every room uniquely themed; rich brocade tapestries, five holes in a wall for a dripping fountain, venetian mirrors to reflect Rembrandt copies on the ceilings, neorenaissance windows that capture glimmers of sunlight to reflect themselves in splendour, cherubs amd their harps carved on heavy doors, fur-lined books stretched from wall to wall in elegant oak shelves, collections of swords, rapiers, halberds, shields, armour pieces adorning the walls around the german hangman sword on the fireplace and figures of knights with one on a metal horse, and we glide around in specially provided furry slippers, marvelling at the marbled interiors and the dazzling exteriors of a delightful castle decked head to toe in mute glorious detail.

2006-12-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

time brings much love! and more love!

2006-12-25T06:44:00.000+08:00

late, but a magical white christmas nevertheless.

flakes that fall so gently and speckle the jacket, powder that he kicks into a storm, ice that delight children and us on anything sleigh-like, mistletoes that bring delightful kisses, snow-capped mountains and pasture and rooftops and cobbled walkways that paint such serenity, bells that toil a glistening tune in the winter chill.

2006-12-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

yet again, this day has been stripped.

2006-12-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

oh i have to say that it's such a delectable treat curling up in bed and indulging in ice cream on a cold winter night.

2006-12-21T23:19:00.000+08:00

first it was a beautiful room at sighisoara that resembled a boudoir and contained so many heart-shaped items that we think the owner probably gave us the honeymoon suite, and now a whole apartment in brasov to ourselves. the room is decked in hues of gold. i've been watching mtv, he has been watching soccer and ski competitions, we saw a chinese movie in chinese and romanian subtitles with joan chen in it, and had a good laugh over ocean's twelve, all on romanian tv!

2006-12-21T22:33:00.000+08:00

been travelling by train - bucharest to sibiu, then to sighisoara, and am currently at brasov where we'll stay for the next few days and use it as a base to travel to bran castle, poiana for some skiing (maybe), rasnov, and soak in the festive atmosphere, before heading to sinaia to visit peles castle and then back to bucharest on the 27th. transylvania is a land of rolling plains, farmland, little cottages with brick roofs, the citadel of sighisoara rising out of the misty morning fog, baroque clock towers, monumental churches, broken stone paths, quiet little spots here and there, snow falling like rain one morning in sibiu, villages, sun setting over the mountains, watchtowers and fortifications and a spread of houses over hills and a darkening sky at four o'clock in the afternoon.

-"the love"

2006-12-17T17:54:00.000+08:00

with-in love

beyond lyricism, beyond reverie, a touching strain smoulders

the beauty that cannot be contained in a single album; the snow flake dance that succeeds to forge its own spell, the crown of a birch tree, the terrible effigy of solitude

the horse never stands still. he is always awaiting. he knows the road by himself..
eyes are staring into the other's eyes. caresses and words of endearment. sometimes, tenderness is more valuable than sugar.

these traces of snow, like signs on the palm of the hand of winter, have always something to tell...

walking in the snow that crunces under the feet or a sledge ride obviously remain some of the biggest joys of winter, irrespective of age.

2006-12-15T18:02:00.000+08:00

to live recklessly, i guess this is it.

ok we knew we needed visa for entry into bulgaria, transit or short-stay purposes, but we decided to risk it after weighing it against a 120 turkish lira which is about 140 sing dollars each and an undeterminable waiting period due to sloooww bureaucracy. at most, we would just have to put up with the stifling presence of some bulgarian officials for a few hours, which was what happened to cleef. so it was a zipping in and out of the many duty free shops at the turkish-bulgarian borders with boyfriend whom i suspect has fallen into the vices of fraternity life because
he basically went "wow the liquor is dirt cheap and we should buy to keep warm and perhaps buy some tobacco as well", a sinfully dark chocolate liquor that only induced further euphoria, our high was given a rude jolt when the bulgarian customs denied us entry, acted all self-righteous when we all know they take bribes, the bus driver threw our bags out, left us freezing and stranded, given marching orders by the burly buggers to make our way back to turkish territories. so devoid of human empathy! i was just laughing with glee as i saw one of my must-do-things-before-i-die come true. we were gonna become true-blue hitchhikers! stranded in desperation. it was no mean feat, considering the mere number of civilian vehicles passing through the customs in the dead of the freezing night. yay for a friendly stranger, albeit mysterious. he was more than happy to take us to the nearest turkish city but he was slightly apologetic for having to stop by the police customs to have his "equipment" checked. and so we found ourselves in edirne, more like he dropped us off at a petrol kiosk a few miles away from the city centre. and of course i wasnt too happy with the bf for not opting to go back to the safer sanctuary of istanbul after the novelty of adventure had worn off. but BUT we ended up sitting in the plush confines of the mayor of edirne's office, sipped apple tea and nibbled on chocolate, took some pictures, made serious talk and some small talk so yes, out of every bad comes a good.

oh we were almost robbed in bucharest. wonderlicious! my shrieks were definitely more helpful than the bf. and with every bad comes a good, because a kind romanian family overheard my dramatic primal screams of feminine wrath and took us in, calmed me down and helped us call for the hostel to escort us through dark streets to relative safety.

anyway, it's now home sweet home at his romanian friend's family place. great hospitability, great food. i like!

2006-12-14T20:17:00.000+08:00

after an uber you-either-laugh-your-tears-out or roll-your-eyes exploit, we call it our exasperating tinged with incredulous exhilaration adventure, we finally bought freaking expensive air tickets to bucharest. so medieval romania, dont cry for me because im coming after all.

2006-12-12T04:07:00.000+08:00

i describe turkey as the land of the friendly.

the friendly folk can be classified thus

friendly shopowners: they befriend you upon seeing you. a great source of information about the environs of istanbul and its denziens, friendly shopkeepers hang around outside their stall and await business, chat with tourists, and invite some up for apple tea!

friendly young women: in their headscarfs, sitting near the fountain outside Sultanahmet Mosque, trying their utmost to communicate in broken English and sign language and many smiles.

friendly random citizens: who have never seen singaporeans in their lives and perpetually mistake us for Japanese. an abdundant source of cheery "nihaos" and "konichiwas" called out towards your direction.

friendly apple tea sellers: who offer you a cup of apple tea for 17 lira (around $17). upon seeing the quizzical look on your face, the price quickly drops to 10 lira and 5 lira and 1 lira. we gave him 50c. he was very friendly about not being able to make a slight profit off two poor students.

friendly old men: lugging their carts with their balding heads and beards and slightly leery smiles, friendly old men offer you free fried fish, pistachio nuts, help you adjust your jacket...but can be dangerous to beautiful young women like the gf. at best they try to dress you up. or give you a painful squeeze on the round but fat-free cheeks. at worst they give you two friendly, shudder-worthy-full-smack-on pecks on the cheeks. you have been warned.

- "him"

2006-12-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

constantinople. centuries upon centuries of invasions, empire, civilisation, the ancient imperial center, the contemporary nation caught amidst the flux of modernisation. we cast our gazes out upon the marmara, expecting to see the golden horn glimmering in the dusk. we sail across the bosphorous, wonder at the spires and domes of byzantium architecture, invade the treasuries of the ottoman empire, gaze upon the commercial relics amidst the 4000 shops in the grand bazaar. we munch on a donish kebab, barely feeling the ages converging upon this land mass between the aegean, the black sea, the mediterranean, sipping raki and listening to english songs playing on turkish radio, removed twice again from the armies and merchant ships of asia and europe haunting the morning fog.

- "the bf"

2006-12-11T14:14:00.000+08:00

bf and i were utterly amused at what we saw on a dear friend's blog.

"Sent a friend off to London (to meet her beau). It's been ten yrs since I last went to her place. The good old times... Her mum is still as chatty as ever and it's amusing just seeing the mother-daughter bicker. Picture the girl sending her ge ge's friend down to her neighbours to retrieve the fallen t-shirt. As I pointed out to another friend, it's amazing how she manages to 'command' her THREE brothers around. From my observation, brothers are indeed useful. The giant backpack, the trolley luggage, the check-in, to figuring out how to insert the sim card into the new hp. I also want an elder brother."

well actually it's men that are useful. bf agrees. haha.

2006-12-10T03:46:00.000+08:00

i'm blessed with wonderful people in my life - family, friends and the bf. marvelling at the sights and sounds and smells in london feels so good when you are doing it with the one you love, if not for the people you love.

2006-12-05T17:44:00.000+08:00

the pound is crazy. im going crazy. it's a crazed world; it's love and hate or none. panic-overdrive, i really need a professional packer for all the jumble.

2006-11-05T09:45:00.000+08:00

wordplay.

hunt heads = headhunter. draw heads = advertising. play with heads = marketing

hunt heads = sex maniac. draw heads = nude artist. play with heads = love love

and of course my version is decently wholesome.

2006-10-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

for the inamorato,

your love flames and tames your tempestuous one.

2006-10-22T19:44:00.000+08:00

cellier rouge at stamford court. chic little place with a charmingly earthy feel. was telling the love that he's gotten himself an expensive gf who has expensives tastes and digs the fine life and if he's put off. of course that darling boy delighted me to bits when his response was he happens to like this picky classy quality of mine. aha!

2006-10-22T01:31:00.000+08:00

parabelo & lecuona by grupo corpo was extremely intense, on the eyes, the senses, the body. athletic forms displaying hip-swiveling samba-like exuberance, pirouettes with so much buoyancy and rampant joy and fiery bolds juxtaposed against nuances of impediment, dark brutality and rancour. longing, fervently felt in the strains of that lonesome voice, the enthralling yet haunting music, and consuming the lines of their movements. finale flowed; mesmerized hearts it definitely did. stage was dramatically transformed alive with a stunning backdrop of mirrors. six couples. the waltz. oh the beauty of life and love!

2006-10-14T03:04:00.000+08:00

Instances of spontaneity. Benches of people linking their arms together and moving side-to-side, up and down. such heartwarming camaraderie. gung-ho drinking, huge trophies of beer to celebrate erdinger the life!, brotherhood, and the occasional feisty female , barrels and barrels of erdinger, erupted exaltations all around. erdinger girls who looked like they just stepped out of a Dutch lady photo shoot instead, and disappointing displays of unfilled corsets. The food..oh the food, except for the beef moulash, I thought I was at a swiss foodfair. Maybe marche catered the food. I was most amused by this man swishing his mug of beer happily, going Kopf schultert Kniee und Zehen, while tapping his merry feet to the folkloric music. But seriously, Oktoberfest was a letdown. Overhyped. Oversensationalised. Overcrowded. And i give it to this erdinger girl for coming up with the most impromptu and absurd explanation that the fun of the original Oktoberfest is about people squeezing together, when asking us to make space for others on the bench. (!!!) I so not welcome intrusion of my space!

city space. class, everywhere. Slinky black gowns, slits that run thigh-high, plunging backs. Dance baby dance, slow and sensual. Lusty vocals that kept belting out sentimental classic after classic, the songs we feel so well. The pangs, the yearning for you, yet the tasteless oblivion. The glittering panoramic views, the gorgeous settings, twinkles of light for cowherd and his weaving lady. Arrays of glass, shelves of them, shapes and sizes, blurred into glossy visions. Down it all to drown it all, but for the lonely Belvedere that was as bitter as the heart, shots that only tasted of resentment and reproach. see what you've done.

2006-10-07T01:35:00.000+08:00

russell peters - he's an absolute riot.

" you don't see the trees anymore, but when she lowers herself, she starts singing around it.. "

2006-09-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

she who exists in you..a scintillating model of wit and gaiety, a connoisseur of pleasure to gratify all of a man's senses, physical, emotional and intellectual.

2006-09-26T20:26:00.000+08:00

the love says it in maths.

36 / 2 = 18

9 + 9 = 18

1 + 8 = 9

2006-09-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

18 for 1+8=9

mum was shutting the gate..man suddenly appeared, delivering loveliness!, silly grin on his face, " from your fisherman" . awww mummy, he meant my fisherman.

thank you the heartache. the red roses intense with ardor, the pink roses so dainty yet so coy, the champagne roses alluringly nubile.

the songbird, she sings for us. love much!

2006-09-08T00:21:00.000+08:00

damien says:
you know i am not the type to charm birds off trees.
i say:
hahaha. birds dont need to be charmed off trees.
u just need to have a long stick. maybe the bamboo stick you use at home will work. ya. just poke it through the branches. lol
damien says:
its a figure of speech!!
oh my god.
that is so flame!!!
and that is hardly called charming..

omg. im getting better at this. it just came so easily. tsk. blame it on the guys for the time down under. the pedantic one wouldnt be happy but it's perfectly harmless. oh how i bemoan the innocence of yesteryears.

2006-09-06T03:24:00.000+08:00

i know what u mean. these words, they work magic. the world suddenly seems brighter. the heart is filled with cheer once again..

let it stay. will it to stay.

2006-09-03T10:46:00.000+08:00

"... i was adventuring on the lonely high seas when storks, cranes and assorted creatures doth glide lazily by over what the strange people who bestow the odd name of "The Pacific Ocean" ; it was far from pacific as i delved beneath in all its tumult Down Under as i espied something which men call aphrodisiac, an oyster that caught my eye in the deepest reaches of the ocean with sea cucumbers growing perilously by; without hesitation i pried the poor creature open with the dagger previously clenched in my teeth and retrieved, discovered, even, the unique gem i did not expect to find, patiently nurtured from a grain of sand into a teardrop-shaped, hardened yet glowing with a soft lustre, warmly beckoning with an extraordinary tinge of colour; and i must confess, my heart was utterly, brilliantly stolen. "

so much for me complicating things and you simplifying them. oh my pedantic one, all that wordplay; the metonymy, the imagery.. and the litotes of it all is that i've been not a little caught.

2006-09-01T07:30:00.000+08:00

In perfect symmetry perfectly in each step, this very step we took..a tango of two cities.

instinctive prowling is our next step,
brushing the corners of perfect and
choreographed beauty, but choosing,
instead,
the wild territory
of what two of us can dance
as one.

2006-08-24T20:39:00.000+08:00

for the other life that was supposed to begin, i'll miss it simply as a child misses a bedtime fairytale: something dreamlike and perfect, not real. well if only i had the wide-eyed innocence of a child still. oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

2006-08-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

the fact of life is that no one can hurt you unless you let them.

2006-08-23T10:34:00.000+08:00

he's gone. dont ask. i dont want to talk about it. let me be alone.

life goes on, and it's only gonna make me strong
Its a fact, once you get on board say goodbye cuz you can't go back

2006-08-23T03:31:00.000+08:00

hear the echo. it's been there for a long time.

2006-08-22T15:07:00.000+08:00

time has been whizzing past. good times with people :)

sheer gold wine appreciation at cornerstone. ( chris gave me the invites. thanks dear. this girl can read my tastes so well. ) wasnt a high-life affair like the party at au petit salut but it was sheer pleasure. so chi-chi. amore. and at least this time we didnt over-indulge in wine and champagne which led to some really not-tasteful-at-all behaivour.

the cows at fort canning!! i finally succumbed to the inner child in me and cajoled xx to take a shot with them too.

cafe iguana with the choristers. eup and i were pretty disappointed when people started cancelling on us, but smaller groups make for better emo-bonding and we had fun again didnt we.

dharma's kebabs with sheena at boat quay. we might have diverged a lot from those days in sec sch when we used to hang out after classes almost every day but like you once said about chocolates and me, always a comforting presence in your life. likewise, you know u'll always be one of those who matter.

2006-08-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

cause i feel that when im with you
it's alright, i know it's right

2006-08-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

it hasnt been very long but it's been so good to have you as a friend. thank you for you; for who you are, for all that you believe in and the happiness you wish for those around you to have. and i really think the best part of today was the repose at marriott, even those short lapses of silence felt snug.

if music be the food of love, sing on..

RVAC at west coast park.

'fine dining' bbq indeed, kudos to wenjie for his superb culinary skills.

2006-08-05T18:12:00.000+08:00

i know i've been impossibly difficult and your seemingly infinite patience is getting to my conscience. you are indulging me too much, it just makes me want to be sick everyday so that i'll always have your undivided attentions. decadence; i can see myself slipping into it.

2006-08-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

strangers thrown together on a backpacking trip to good friends who shops the particular way i do, gushes over Ermenegildo Zegna cuts, calls me from budapest to regale me with his latest exploits, considers it a lifelong mission to try all varied cuisine but will tend to end up at 'in' places because snobbery gets in the way too often, we've definitely come a long way.

2006-08-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

the little things you do; heartfelt words i might not have said but they dont go unnoticed nor unappreciated.

unprecedented morsels of sweetness fill my heart everytime you sing to me..

with the stars twinkling prettily above and jazz for a little dance by the river.

extempore romance, it feels too good.

2006-07-21T12:27:00.000+08:00

oh darling, it's sooo much better down where it's wetter that you should just abandon your line and live it sweet with me.

2006-07-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

omg. i love this person hugh who stays a few levels up or a few doors away, either way i dont care because i just love him for being on the arrow on swanston network and letting me rip so many songs from his collection that my itunes collection jumped 5 GB in a space of one hour. great. im loving it in melbourne.

2006-07-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

i hate this. it's just a stupid dream.

2006-07-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

i wonder if a whole new world lies in your saga seeds.

so serendipitous u know. yet so illusory it's scary. we are at the centre of this dream we have stumbled into; i have already lost myself in it, but you have this immense wellspring of hope stirring the dream. what do i do. it's just one big step to throwing myself wholly in faith. oh fisherman this net has too many holes.

2006-07-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

it was ahhhhh..

in that space and time, swell after swell, the waves caressed me all over.

2006-07-13T02:36:00.000+08:00

in the faraway mind, a warm embrace, a tender touch, a light smile, and im your muse.

silhouettes of tomorrow lie there.

2006-07-05T05:42:00.000+08:00

im really touched. thanks for the birthday wishes.

2006-06-29T03:34:00.000+08:00

so strange when things change and hang nowhere near equilibrium , yet the human psyche is reluctant to process these swirling streams of ambiguity.

is it a should or want to?

2006-06-28T02:40:00.000+08:00

pictures at titianballad

2006-06-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

gera/ down under! says:
haha. so hilarious. im talking to my cousin ruriko now.

gera/ down under! says:
n she tells me my grandmother says to go back with a handsome guy.

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
hahaha

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
well, u should

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
i'll be waiting for u to bring back a guy

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
or him with his brother or guy-frens also can

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says
i'll be waiting! wahahahah

gera/ down under! says:
so auzzies vs austrians. which one more attractive?

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
austrians of cuz

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
wahahaha

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
i mean their accents are so much nicer

gera/ down under! says:
haha. u are still 'hung up' over that austrian in NZ.

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
haha, oh wells...

Come, come, fly into my palm and collapse; oh, oh, suppose you'll never know... says:
its not everyday u meet someone nice u know

ok it's dark and cold outside and im really bored and she's going to kill me for 'announcing' this here.

2006-06-22T02:11:00.000+08:00

straight off the plane, i meet a cute slovakian who shared a cab with me and dropped me off at my brother's place so here i am at arrow on swanston! it's like staying at grange road and crossing a few streets to orchard road. shopping is not even on the agenda apparently unless the guys decide to be nice and simone perele is supposedly really cheap here. im darn tempted.

2006-06-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

ok going down under for a month. so many people i want to see but yet didnt have time to meet. im so sorry about that. i know it isnt like im going forever and not coming back, but im overtly paranoid, like we never know what tomorrow or the next moment brings huh. sheena was saying that girl who died in canada had a more fulfilling life than her and would probably have more people turning up at her funeral. so now im thinking about mine.

the past few days have been hard. those who know and have been giving me unwavering support as well as advice. thanks. i'll definitely try to sort my thoughts out in aussieland.

sheena. fengyi. eileen. wansi. xiuxian. euphie. shujun. hannah. wenshan. wenjia. huiwen. michelle. janice. christina. alicia. timo. sabrina. thong. jm. jiayun.. im rattling names, i left out a lot. i love you all. be happy, take good care!

2006-06-21T07:44:00.000+08:00

presenting exotica! at gotham penthouse.

now i think local girls might really be seriously deprived, seeing how wild they were last night. the men strutted their stuffs. hot bods and all. but i think the intensity in a good latin dance or broadway or lyrical is way more seductive.

2006-06-19T07:19:00.000+08:00

i love you people :)

2006-06-19T03:33:00.000+08:00

love. always

2006-06-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

smudges have eroded the mastic-varnish. a thin veil of dust lingers over the black and white hammers. the fingers stretch gingerly, a tad clumsy, but still an octave and one key.

feathered notes used to flow from these ivory keys.

mendelssohn, op 19 no.4-lied ohne worte. i was told my playing was so emotive it touched my audience, but as usual, my rhythm was off. they didnt know it was the lack of measured movement that gave my playing its character; emotions metamorphosed into music. song without words indeed. it needed no words from me. for each different time, the same song never sounded the same.

it was my sedative; i would play away till repose took hold. i've almost forgotten how it feels. it all came back today.

2006-06-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

a matter of one balmy friday.

first i found the seashell again; i remember the delight i secretly coddled when i realised it had been washed and powdered as per my whims. then we had a conversation after a hiatus from each other's lives. so you dropped the bombshell that you still have something else for me. and a few hours later, of all the unexpected, i saw you. your eyes, they sizzle with so much intensity. but of course you already know that.

coincidentally, i've been thinking about that dance of late. that dreamy interlude has been at odds with flip-flops and 'keke'. im still anal about it.

my little seashell from maldives, maybe you've already danced your way into....

2006-06-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

i often wonder why i continue to be afflicted; the echo of a broken self embedded in jadedness, perched on pococurantism and yet fervent to venture beyond wavering sparks of romantic idealism. such a great trepidation that impels the latter, it shrouds me in greater bewildered consternation of myself - then, now and later.

you are so unfair. dont tell me life was never fair to begin with. maybe words were lavishly delivered because they will ultimately divest themselves of meaning and promise.

don't you understand the damage you have done
to you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on

still lives on. and i still will be ok.

2006-06-12T03:18:00.000+08:00

what you never know wont hurt you
what you never know wont make you cry

2006-06-11T02:44:00.000+08:00

too bad it rained, or someone would have been paid homage and dumped into the pool. too bad they forgot the shaver, pubic hair is disgusting but it would have been an utter riot. crazy hilarious antics they come up with, but still the most entertaining bunch ever.

chasing shadows of a good thing
faded memories, linger besides me

2006-06-10T03:16:00.000+08:00

We're waltzing in the wonder of why we're here
Time hurries by, we're here and we're gone

superficial or not, i am just smitten with gentlemanly acts that go beyond opening mere doors to hopping out of the car upon seeing my approach so that he opens the car door for me instead.

gentility; it goes together with our passion for the ballroom.

2006-06-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

get your skin crawling-the sinister twin! i rather go with my alter-ego.

2006-06-07T05:00:00.000+08:00

someday, between you and me, i'll come up with a spread "that's sophisticated without being too clever in a room that's beautiful without being too flamboyant" . and for everything understated, a fluid communication we shall bask in.

2006-06-05T04:20:00.000+08:00

Moons and Junes ferris wheels,
And dizzy dancing way you feel,
As every fairy tale comes real,
I've looked at clouds that way.
But now it's just another show,
You leave 'em laughing when you go,
And if you care, don't let them know,
Don't give yourself away.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From give and take
And still somehow
It's love illusions I recall,
I really don't know love at all.

2006-06-03T10:57:00.000+08:00

united nation of neighbours.

i want a united nation of friends too. make that my lifelong ambition.

2006-06-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

random thoughts:

it's past midnight. sheena is probably still at wisma and a part of me wants to be there too, as much as i hate jostling with crowds.

i miss the adrenaline from purposeful shopping.

my aesthetic faculties are insatiable.

i seem to enjoy being difficult.

little india is scary. imagine india itself.

intense eyes make me want to drown into them.

drivers probably hate me because i am such a walking hazard.

euphie seems to be in the dungeon again.

some people never seem to understand rejection.

i shall be flattered by unwanted attention only because thong says it induces a superiority complex in him.

a hard kick in the groin will probably teach the testerones some manners.

lingerie is the ultimate retail therapy.

bumping into juniors and catching up with them only remind me of how old i am in contrast. and now i'm another day older from just now too.

because sleep cycle is screwed up so meal-times are haywire. whichever works.

when im tired, im a disaster. thank you thong for taking care of me.

the still of the night seems really inviting, more so than the bed.

2006-06-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

sifted through pictures only to find this one and only picture in recent years to show my brother because he asked about geok yan. the five of us, we used to hang out at the bird park or doing projects at eileen's or my uncle's place where my brother would do most of the work..and we would ermm play. that's one of the best things about older siblings huh. but i believe my brother volunteered his services. it still amuses me to no end when people register incredulity upon knowing about my long-standing friendship with qi yue. ya once our dads dropped us off behind the gates of RV, we turned from daily travelling companions to strangers. used to be closest to geok yan whilst having those childish petty quarrels with eileen, but geok yan is so busy seeing the world i only see her once a year when qi yue is back and our pampered temperaments have mellowed so much over the years that im closest to eileen now. admit it girl!

amongst us four; we'll have many more years to go wont we. more good times to reminisce over when we turn all wrinkly and cranky. no wait! i say let's age gracefully.

Amigos para siempre
Means you'll always be my friend
Amics per sempre
Means a love that cannot end
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

I feel you near me
Even when we are apart
Just knowing you are in this world
Can warm my heart
Friends for life
Not just a summer or a spring
Amigos para siempre

2006-05-26T17:58:00.000+08:00

when the silence gets too grim, we are fortunate to have the contiguous airwaves at our fingertips. it was easy that way for you wasnt it, to have the music fill up the vacuum and filter the silence.

easy way. denial or avoidance. another excuse. nothing new.

lachrymose mess. shut up waterworks. water is like how precious.

2006-05-24T21:31:00.000+08:00

"if we miss the sunset, we'll only get to count the stars.."

counting the stars is just as lovely aint it so.

2006-05-24T18:59:00.000+08:00

the lines on your face, they've become deeper and longer.

i never meant to break your heart but i've broken it so many times that i can't remember the last time I made you happy.

2006-05-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

sights, sounds, and rhythm of a "Peace Corps" day - a little introspection a day keeps the complacency away.

2006-05-23T14:40:00.000+08:00

this very instant, it just feels like a repetition of recurring patterns. deep inside arose a persistent, nagging voice: "Surely, you can do better.."

well maybe.

2006-05-22T10:51:00.000+08:00

love; they call it many a splendoured thing.

yet love is that elusive mythical object, its ephemeral beauty enveloping us between awe and wanting for more.

love makes fools of us by taking away the power of speech, by reducing conversation to incoherent childlike babble, by robbing us of our accustomed rationality, by taking us on incredible flights of fantasy, by plunging us deep into the depths of our soul. love, one of the most primal of emotions, reduces us to a lowest common denominator - leaving us vulnerable, open and insecure.

and perhaps it is the chill surrounding the exposed heart that makes it want to draw its blinds and put on its shades. perhaps it is the unfamiliarity of the surrounding that makes it so difficult to coax the uncertain heart out of its warm bosom. perhaps its the jolt of the moment that stills the heart, the shock of the unknown that makes it skip a beat.

this little intangible we grasp within our fingers, do we even recognise the power it wields over us?

2006-05-22T04:15:00.000+08:00

it was as you put it, unconventional. every moment of that 3 hours or so, i was, if not laughing, smiling..except for those prohibited-from-even-a-tiny-giggle moments when i was definitely being a good girl, albeit lost in dreamy abstraction.

the smiles are definitely here to stay but i hope it isnt just your stars that are multiplying.

2006-05-20T16:25:00.000+08:00

smile! smiled, and still smiling.

im really happy about your joint 1st.

and i realised why my brother kept laying the guilt trap on me. he wants me to get away from the baggage.

been charmed, and touched by two angels.

the little things; they go a long way. i feel incredibly blessed.

2006-05-20T01:31:00.000+08:00

i will have a dosage of my greatest indulgence later.

2006-05-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along

yes i know this by heart.

2006-05-19T11:39:00.000+08:00

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, with many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal and nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised.

They sat in a nice coffee shop; he was too nervous to say anything. She felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go back home... suddenly, he asked the waiter: could you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee. Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.

She asked him curiously: why do you have this hobby?

He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea; I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, salty and biting, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes.

She was deeply touched. That was his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who could say out that he was homesick must be a man who loved home, cared about home, had a sense of responsibility to home. Then she also started to talk; she talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.

That was a really nice talk, a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found actually he was a man who met all her demands: he was tolerant, kind hearted, warm, careful.. he was such a good guy, but she had almost missed out on knowing him, if not for his salty coffee.

The story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess eventually married the prince, and they were living a happy life... and every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that was the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: my dearest, please forgive me, forgive my lie to you. This was the only lie I said to you - the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, that actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt.

It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you about anything... now I'm dying, I'm afraid of nothing so I'm telling you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... but I have drunk the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you and I have never felt sorry for anything I did for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for a second time, I still want to know you and have you as my wife, even if I have to drink the salty coffee again.

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee?

She replied: it's sweet.

Love is sufficient of itself, it gives pleasure by itself and because of itself. It is its own merit, its own reward. Love looks for no cause outside itself, no effect beyond itself. Its profit lies in its practice. and togetherness is far more than just a word. sometimes, it's a hope, a dream, and - maybe - a way of life.

2006-05-19T04:29:00.000+08:00

apologies have become platitudinous because you overstate their use.

one's inner strength
split at the seams
crushed by the force
overloaded by thought
i remember the pain all too well
the tears that came and went

or just an empty shell remains.

2006-05-18T18:15:00.000+08:00

i can hear my heart thump. racing beats. i swear the other joggers in the park were giving me weird stares too. need to wipe the grinning off my face. haha. oh great. i feel like one silly goose. my nerves are all tangled up. excitement is spilling forth like no tomorrow. hear hear! - it's summer and people are coming back to this little island.

2006-05-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

this clock never seems so alive; in less than 24 hours, i'll be all jittery nerves at the arrival halls like i've always done (will you still be making funny faces and gesticulating behind the glass panes?). it's interesting how we both likened the 9 months (remember how you kept saying you'll be back in no time and how hard i cried?) that flew past us to carrying a baby to term, and the anticipation that awaits. well if only...

but the feelings this time will be different from all the previous times.

thank you my well-meaning friends who feel that i shouldn't even bother to be there, but like i told wenshan (thanks for the support. don't worry, i'll definitely be fine.) , i'm just really looking forward to having him back again, someone i can talk to about anything and everything. this closeness we share; nothing and no one can take away.

AND you better be very nice to me, because i put up with nightmarish! sunday mornings so that i can pick you up at the ungodly wee hours of the morning.

euphie, i'm completely elated and anticipatory about 12 june too. i didn't forget that, and for good this time.

2006-05-17T07:28:00.000+08:00

Bring on the lactic acid!

and

congrats! you are in vogue now

and

the new cult:Frankencotton

and
( hx, when i read this, i was thinking of your "America, the land of the ever-optimistic!" )

but it's definitely not for the faint-hearted

and

for every aroused moment(pun intended), maybe we can enfeeble the trend of greying heads.

2006-05-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

hard forward jab with the wand at about 40 degrees to the horizontal.

i still prefer the swish though. swish is magical. magic is chimerical.
that explains why the dementors are here to stay. haha.

2006-05-09T19:49:00.000+08:00

g/ stoic and orgiast in sync says:
n i always leave the exam halls feeling like some dementor came by and sucked the life outta me.

JQ. says:
haha

JQ. says:
what a metaphor

JQ. says:
then expecto patronum la

yes i will, with a swish of my wand, EXPECTO PATRONUM!
thanks JQ. i feel significantly cheerier.

2006-05-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

kill me! after tango yesterday, i just cant tear myself away from youtube. and my heart melts everytime i see the rumba; it takes top spot in my heart for latin ballroom.

the cucaracha by louis and ashly is helluva sexy and this is really really romantic.

sigh

sign your name
across my heart
i want you to be my baby

2006-05-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

tango. it's complicated

stoic and orgiast in sync.

2006-05-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

he tells me to f the exams. like what's new; he's always very cool about exams.

but yep, you got me laughing, which i badly needed in view of my hysteria. so thank you. i ought to just chill, and that will be the new agenda.

( note to sheena: thanks babe! )

2006-05-03T04:55:00.000+08:00

my days and my nights, they blur into each other. the body clock apparently doesnt recognise retreats anymore. fuzzy woozy wazzy lights dancing in my visions. red for panic. bloodshot for panic. inflamed for panic.

colours in my world, where art thou?

2006-04-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

this is what i want...

"..who can talk politics with prime ministers, culture with artists, emotions with women, and football with the lads down at the pub..He's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, appreciates the finer things in life, and is strongly bonded with and loyal to a cadre of male friends. A born charmer who is not afraid to cry..confident, masculine, stylish, and committed to uncompromising quality in all areas of life..without giving in to the stereotypes that give guys a bad name like disrespect toward women, emotional emptiness, complete ignorance of anything cultural outside of sports, beer, burgers, and athletic shoes.."

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

2006-04-29T16:50:00.000+08:00

from the only person who calls me gerry because he claims my name is too long and gerry is nicer than ger or geri or any other abbrievated version.

www.gerry.youaremyfriend.com
www.gerry.youaremighty.com

thanks lester, for those mighty words of encouragement! you made my day :)

2006-04-29T00:44:00.000+08:00

the chicas ( black and white) from columbia!

it was an impromptu and little getaway from mundane mugging; going down to esplanade to chill and listen to good music. life is easy and good that way. i wanted to shimmy too, especially when they launched into la vida es un carnaval, but everyone was so prim and proper, except for occasional catcalls and whistling. this island and its tiny population is staiddd. no sea of bodies gyrating spontaneously to the infectious beats. ( p/s fengyi, will he? )

deliriously high. xx said i was high on AIR! twirling from pole to pole, singing off-key notes down the pavements of esplanade to chinatown, flinging my sweater around, mock waltzing.. sobered up that tad moment when we walked into a group of armed policemen, in case i get hauled off to the station for being a drunk nuisance. it was so who-cares-about-weird-stares-from-passerbys but just-let-loose-and-totally-not-caring-about-our-image that one only does with friends one feels so laidback with. i think everyone needs to have at least one such friend, and im glad i have more than one. they add variety to life. shant put names here and air our dirty linen in public huh.

sheena dont spend all your money away. wait for me!!