having two humungous trucks blaring their horns out while you stand sandwiched between them as they go past and trying to get to the next lane divider before more motorists come screeching your way is exhilarating. it definitely does give me an adrenaline rush although dawn says it doesnt exactly classify as adventurous, more like im gambling with my life as well as hers.
and i only like to do this at night. in the day, the world seems really overwhelming and im just one of the many organisms competing for survival admist all the concrete and bricks. it's a small small me in a big big world.
at night, everything is swathed in darkness and diminished, when all i see are blazing headlights and all i hear is meretricious truck traffic so that it narrows down to a scenario of me versus all these chaos. they really are quite capable of drowning out the rest of the world. maybe that's why it's called noise pollution and blinding lights.
and the knowledge that i can throw my life away by recklessly moving a few inches or live to see another day by adopting a policy of increased vigilance with better reflexes is empowering. at least it grants me some semblance of orientation over my being. one of those too rare moments when i completely comprehend what im doing, what i have to do etcetera
and the direct consequences or possible repercussions.
so you see, im not so keen on gettin into some freak accident. i wont bear to do so.
there are still many more things i want to accomplish and havent done so.
this' just some form of cheap thrill, momentary gratification.
it takes more courage to live than to die. anyone can die but not anyone can live. yeah.
