sleep. i dont need it when it is more fatiguing than rejuvenating. it all started with a slew of recurring dreams and now the sleeplessness is back in vogue. terribly disturbing; waking up to the heavy urgent thuds of my heart and desperately needing to breathe because the lungs have gone on strike, the reflex action that edgily feels for any monsters lurking underneath before flipping the comforter around, making sure the coast is really clear, then wrapping myself up in a tight bundle again, counting the sheep till the body and mind ease themselves into sleep again. it goes on and on, a few times in the night.
i know i know, dreams reflect our sub-conscious and im getting too consumed by the sub-conscious.
there was this private pool i used to go to; it was really deep. imagine you were scarcely over a metre and the pool was more than twice the length of you, it just couldnt get any less scarier when it was in the still of the night and the pool wasnt even lit at all. it could be an enjoyable swirl or frolicking one moment but the next moment could be me flailing my arms to get to dry land, the result of spasmodic dark thoughts triggered by an overtly active sub-conscious that's pretty much clouded with phobias. i think if i were to be shipwrecked and stranded at sea one day, i would die from absolute fright before anything else.
anyway, it was the ophidiophobia haunting my nights.
